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However, if you think that through, it'll become pretty obvious that women who feel that way -- or women who have found that they can only orgasm with a vibrator -- did not come to feel that way through vibrator use. I have heard that using one will desensitize the area and make sex with a real person totally unenjoyable and dissatisfying. It's okay to like a vibrator best, or the orgasms you experience from a vibrator best. Vibrators cannot "desensitize" anyone in any permanent way. But that won't change the fact that if and when I DO finally taste spicy foods, I'll discover a peak in my palate, a favorite I didn't know I had before. Historically, we've had similar myths about masturbation -- you'll go blind, grow hair on your palms, become infertile or unhealthy -- have gone on for an age, and plenty of people believed them -- some even still do -- in large part because of a cultural ethos that wants men and women alike to privilege heteronormativity and sex as duty or domination over pleasure. Sure, they can kind of numb you out for a little bit -- from a few minutes to a few hours, depending on the intensity of your vibe -- right after using them, in the same way that your butt might feel a bit numb for a few hours after a long bike or scooter ride, or your hands might feel numb after clapping them vigorously for a while.

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In the case that you need a personal example from someone -- and can deal with a little TMI -- I'm turning 38 this year. Here are a few more links for you to round this all out. But it's not just men spreading this fear and misinformation. It can seem easier if you're feeling deficient to have something external to blame rather than to accept that men and women often just don't get the biggest thrill from the same things based on nothing but how our bodies are, especially if it's really important to you or someone else that we DO enjoy the same things the same way. It's okay to like a vibrator best, or the orgasms you experience from a vibrator best.

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And lo, I still also have all kinds of fantastic sex with partners with and without vibrators and it's never gotten any less pleasurable for me, nor have I lost any sensitivity. But that won't change the fact that if and when I DO finally taste spicy foods, I'll discover a peak in my palate, a favorite I didn't know I had before. Here are a few more links for you to round this all out. In the case that you need a personal example from someone -- and can deal with a little TMI -- I'm turning 38 this year. In other words, much of that sentiment derives from notions about how women's sexuality should ONLY be what men would prefer it to be, what men enjoy doing with women, or what can be done to women with men's bodies that's men as a class. Not only can we bring our preferences and helps TO partnered sex -- we can use vibrators with a "real person," after all, loads of couples incorporate sex toys into their partnered sex, and not just for a woman, either -- partnered sex also has other things going on with it. Men use vibrators, too.

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Description: Not only have I and male and female partners of mine been using vibrators regularly since the 80's, I even had a stint where I reviewed sex toys as a gig for a while, so I was likely using them more than most folks do. I have heard that using one will desensitize the area and make sex with a real person totally unenjoyable and dissatisfying. People being able to experience sexual pleasure without a partner seriously scares the bejeezus out of some people. But it's not just men spreading this fear and misinformation. Yet, in all my years of working in sex advice, while the questions about vibrator damage to women never end, I don't think I've been asked the same of men using them even once. We don't have to draw a big line in the sand between vibrator use and partnered sex, either. However, if you think that through, it'll become pretty obvious that women who feel that way -- or women who have found that they can only orgasm with a vibrator -- did not come to feel that way through vibrator use. Back in the late 19th century, psychotherapists and doctors used to prescribe them for women with anxiety disorders, as a point of fact, indirectly recognizing that orgasm helps people to relax, and that for most women, orgasm through genital sex is usually about the clitoris which has more sensory nerve endings in it than any part of any type of genitals not the vagina.
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